Wouldn’t ‘muskmelon’ be a great title?

I’m a little scared tonight
Researching MFA programs
Our prestigious faculty
Our community of writers
In Boston or San Francisco
Austin or New York City
And suddenly I am very quiet
At the thought of moving so far
Taking such a risk

I worry I am not good enough
What if I can’t get in
What if they reject me
This thing that I want so much
What if I’ve been deluding myself
That my obsessive scribblings
Amount to anything more
Than really good therapy
I have said it out loud to my friends
I will quit my job, go back to school
Making it real
More than “what if” and “could I”
One class and a few compliments
Do not a career make
But, oh, I’d like to try
I’d really like to try

Perhaps I will live
In one of those infamous
New York studios
Where the shower is in the kitchen
And wear the same pair of shoes
Until the rubber disintegrates
If only they will say
Join us here in our club
Our community of writers
You have talent, you are interesting
You are one of us

You are weird and insecure
And hyper-observant
You are caught in a constant war
Between giddiness and depression
You are outside yourself
Never in the moment
Too busy noting the way
He moves his hand or
How she lets her hair fall in her face
Is she angry or bored
How do you spell “ennui”
And wouldn’t “muskmelon”
Be a great title for a poem
You think when your friend
Offers you more fruit in the park
Wondering if you ought to be
Capturing it on paper
Rather than living it, breathing it
Eating it

You are a bit odd, they will say
But then so are we
We’re writers, after all

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