Head grinding into
the mat, knees perched
on triceps, gaze fixed
past toes, my contact
with the earth is more
tenuous. I form a right
triangle of heart
and eyes, my ratio of
We will see with more
compassion by letting our
hearts lead. We can unwind
old fears by inverting
our bodies, our minds.
Other countries seem desperate to tell us
how we look to foreign eyes, as if we were
as blind as the cave fish or the mole.
Cowboys, racists, patriots, slumlords – we
know it’s all true – endless highways, patchwork
farms, strip malls and Disney World.
We killed the Indians and enslaved
the Africans. We birthed jazz and the auto
and skyscrapers and the bomb.
And dreamers still say,
the myth aglow in their eyes:
“I want to go to America.”
If I had been born then,
in a past of unplowed prairie,
uncrossed lakes and hills,
I may have been a pioneer,
driving west in covered wagons.
Or maybe I was amaneunsis
to a dandy from the East,
recording his memoir of wild West,
while scribing my own secret thoughts
by firelight or by waning moon.
If I could be born again,
in a future hub of commerce,
port of interplanetary trade,
I would be a wanderer still, I think,
a mapper of the Milky Way.
Perhaps I’d keep electronic “books”
for a slightly roguish trader,
tracking bales of alien grain,
while writing my own “hiker’s guide”
by the light of strange new stars.
But I am fixed
in time and space
and the only journey I can make
is discovery of myself.
Why is it so easy to describe pain
and so difficult to capture happiness?
Is contentment just that boring and
bland, an emotional vanilla?
Is sorrow simply deeper, more complicated?
I find it so frustrating; I can reveal
My darkest moments, but I struggle
with the words for joy and bliss.
And while I’d like to share, mostly
I want to float on top of this feeling,
Drift along as far as it will take me,
then drown beneath its frothy surface.
And there – suddenly I can picture it,
a bubbling river of happiness that I have
Accidentally stumbled into, tickling my feet
and gently lapping to my knees.
I have only to give myself completely,
dive in and see where I surface.
They’re playing Django at the coffee shop
So I smile to no one in particular as I pour
syrup on my French toast
Two years ago I had never heard his
Two years ago I was sleeping away
Wasting away on our discontinued
blue and pink sofa
Wondering why life was imitating retail,
discontinuing my marriage
Two years ago we had just celebrated
our ninth anniversary
An elaborate dinner, an expensive present,
an uncomfortable bedroom tangle
Ending in his bitter laugh, my bitter tears,
our bitter knowledge
and I have bought new furniture
And as Django’s minor swing floats
over my breakfast
Out the door onto my new street,
new neighborhood, new life
Two years stretch behind me as an
eternity and an instant
And I never want to waste